After years of consulting with dental practices, I realized that at the root of every scheduling gap, collection dispute, and late cancellation was a broken patient conversation. In fact, the way dentists and teams were responding to patient questions, hesitation, and pushback was accidentally persuading patients out of the office!
If you’ve ever ended a conversation with, “Well, call us when you’re ready” to a fleeing patient, knowing the likelihood that they’ll call is pretty much zero, then you’ve experienced this phenomenon.
Why we say this
We say, “Call us” because it sounds polite and respectful. It suggests that you’re giving the patient space. But it’s one of the most expensive phrases in dentistry because it’s also a cop-out. It means that somewhere in the patient conversation, you gave up.
You rightly want to respect patients’ autonomy. You don’t want to pressure or seem salesy. But here’s the problem. When patients hear, “Just call us,” they don’t think: “Wow, that was a supportive, empowering conversation!”
They think:
- I escaped!
- I’ll worry about this later.
- I’m never doing that.
Here’s how this plays out. A patient expresses uncertainty by saying something like:
- I need to talk to my spouse.
- How long can I wait?
- I can’t afford this.
- Will insurance cover this?
But instead of exploring that uncertainty in an authentic conversation, the dentist reiterates the clinical necessity of treatment and the team lists payment options. Because everyone assumes the patient’s stated concern is their only concern, everyone simply continues to speak at the patient instead of with the patient. Finally, the whole conversational ordeal ends with the “just call us” exit line.
Your goal isn’t to trap patients into scheduling. You’re not there to “overcome” objections or scare people into treatment. In fact, here’s some relief: You don’t actually have the power to motivate patients because motivation is an internal choice. Here’s more good news: I guarantee your patients are motivated for something in dental because they showed up.
But there’s a scary part. When I ask dentists to describe why a specific patient comes in, what that patient wants or doesn’t want for their health, dentists typically don’t know. If asked why the patient didn’t schedule, they’ll mutter something about money and frown at the treatment planner. But the sad reality is that most dental professionals don’t actually understand their patients’ motivators, because no one’s asked them any questions. And it’s this lack of understanding that results in patients leaving without scheduling, refusing to pay, or canceling appointments late.
I worked with a dentist whose patient routinely rejected a much needed crown. Year after year, the patient hemmed and delayed. The dentist assumed it was a money obstacle, and the patient simply needed more convincing. Finally, I advised the dentist to stop lecturing and begin a conversation with: “Patient, we’ve been talking about this for years, and I know I’m missing something. Tell me honestly, what’s holding you back?”
It turns out a previous dentist had hit a nerve when giving anesthesia for a crown. The patient assumed this excruciating pain was a normal part of the procedure and so was avoiding crowns accordingly. The dentist was stunned. Years of avoidance were resolved by a simple question.
Now look at the names on your uncompleted treatment list and ask yourself if you can identify those patients’ underlying motivations and concerns. Then imagine if you had reacted to their reluctance with curiosity instead of conversational dead ends.
When objections are reframed as conversation openers instead of closers, it invites a dialogue.
Your response to “I need to talk to my spouse,” becomes “I sense you’re uncomfortable about having that conversation. What are the questions your spouse might have that worry you the most?”
Your response to “How long can I wait?” becomes “I can share what usually happens when patients delay, but I’m curious about why you’re considering it. Tell me what’s leading you to hesitate.”
Your response to, “I can’t afford this” becomes “Patient, we can talk about how to make this work with your budget, but before we do, I’d like to hear your thoughts about this treatment plan. Is this something you genuinely want to do?”
It’s always possible that despite having a more authentic conversation, the patient still doesn’t schedule. Instead of waving them off with the “call us” plea, the front desk team could say, “Patient, I recognize you need time to think about this. With your permission, I’d like to help. Would it be OK if I called you next month to check in and see how you’re doing?”
Notice how this statement respects the patient’s autonomy while keeping the patient connected. If the patient agrees, the next step is to get a timing commitment. “So that I don’t interrupt you, what would be the best day and time for me to call you?”
My realization about the impact of patient conversations inspired me to write What Do I Say? a book of responses to patients’ most frequent (and occasionally perplexing) questions and concerns. I recognized that dental professionals end up at, “Just call us” because they don’t investigate further when patients say, “I’ll wait until it hurts.” But if teams could treat objections like they’re clues, instead of roadblocks, every practice would have meaningful conversations and a schedule filled with motivated patients.
